a new lover surprised me
before we even reached our destination
playfulness radiated from his fingers
the electricity caught me off my guard
i told him to take me whereever
he chose a park i have loved
since childhood
we found seclusion
lay down a blanket
took turns playing
with each other's bodies
he refused to indulge
when i begged for pain
this denial was exquisite
and intriguing
i reflect on gentleness
unbidden
i reflect on kindness
unsought
i reflect on peace
unasked
perhaps i am deserving
after all
perhaps i have myself
backwards
perhaps i want
more